Do you lick a piglicker or does it lick you?

I really should not be that entertained by pork products and sexual innuendo but I AM! I also really should have fewer posts about pork in general, but I try not to outdo myself by thinking up new topics. That would just seem like I was showing off and I am MODEST. Maybe I should have said humble there, but I don’t really know what that means nor do I care to find out. But what I do care about are sammiches. Delicious, delicious sammiches filled with meats and cheeses, sprinkled with choice spices and splashed with vinegar.

Obsession: by Ramen Noodles

There’s something wrong with my family. No, I’m not talking about the makeshift skateboard park that exists in my front yard, scaring off potential buyers for my neighbor’s house with its spray-painted, white-trash-yard-art-deco appeal. I’m not lying when I say that you can Google Map my house and you’ll see one of the primitive ramps on Street View. Side note: the skateboard ramp spraypainting extravaganza is also what led to Gavin’s ultimate masterpiece.

Carrot BALLS

It’s no secret that I have the maturity level of a 13-year-old boy. Wait let me include Tom in that statement. Our immature and unsophisticated humor is what has kept our marriage strong. Having an actual 9-year-old boy in the house only intensifies the grotesque nature of the comedy. The mere mention of the word poop gets a lot of laughs around here. And don’t think you’ll step foot in my house with hearing nutsack being dropped a time or two.