I have lied to myself for years, 10 to be exact, convincing myself that I would be ready when the time comes to talk to Gavin about the Facts of Life. I guess in my mind I thought we’d be having a lovely conversation about Mrs. Garrett and the girls at Eastland School, probably over a nice cup of tea. I’m starting to realize the full extent of my delusions this week and I am eager to pass this task on to Tom. Continue reading ‘If Heidi Fleiss were cast to play me as a mom…’
Posts Tagged 'condoms'
If Heidi Fleiss were cast to play me as a mom…
Published October 20, 2009 1 , Good Mom 4 CommentsTags: Axe Body Spray, balloon animals, bang, birth control, body hair, condoms, Facts of Life, Hallmark, Heidi Fleiss, high-class escort service, Mrs. Garrett, puberty, sex, tampons, Wet Naps
The very definition of excellence
Published August 6, 2009 Good Mom , Holly Fabulous 2 CommentsTags: Bret, bulletin boards, camel toe, condoms, Flight of the Conchords, HBIC, Jermaine, moose knuckle, Porn, pot brownies, PTA, safe sex
It’s possible that I received the best phone call in the world this morning. Second only to getting the call from HBO saying Jermaine and
Bret are requesting my personal Pilates skills on set. I know, reach for the stars, right? The HBIC of the PTA called and asked me to help. Wait, she didn’t just ask me to help, she buttered me up first. I love a slut Continue reading ‘The very definition of excellence’
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