‘Tis the season to ask all the wrong questions

The thing about writing a blog is that there’s a written account of things I meant to do….or things I wish I had never done….but most often of things that make me look a fool. It’s not a talent, mind you, I am just naturally foolish. Foolish and not very shy. Case in point, my ambitious rule of the PTA bulletin board at Gavin’s school.

Adding “waffle” to the end of any word is just going to make it funnier

If you are like me and are living in a house where the males outnumber the females by any margin, then you know that doodie is gonna get a lot of laughs. In fact, in my house, just dropping the word “poop” is gonna elicit a fit of giggles from someone. I guess I’m used to it from growing up with 2 brothers. It wasn’t until I was 9 that my sister came along and evened up our numbers but I’m sure at that age I still thought poop was pretty hilarious.

Even my feet are flipping these off

It’s official that I have now seen the pair of shoes that would be the absolute biggest mess on my feet ever. I don’t hide the fact that I’m not a fan of Converse. I don’t hold anything in particular against this iconic shoe or anyone who wears them. It’s more that I feel like a clown when I wear them. A clown and a poseur. A clown because they accentuate my large feet due to my overly long toes, and a poseur because I’ve never worn them before and if I start now it would just seem like I’m trying to pull off a “look” that is all too obviously not me.

Titan of Sucking and Blowing

A lot of people promote their assiness in this world. Few do it as well as the Dyson guy. James Dyson. James Assface Dyson. Every time he opens his mouth on his pretentious vacuum commercials it’s always four wheels can only go in a straight line this and a ball can turn on a dime that and I’m left feeling completely shamed and inadequate about my vacuum cleaner choices.